Traditionally, finishing schools were programs that taught young women etiquette and social skills to prepare them for society. These schools were most popular in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, particularly in Switzerland. They started to decline in the 1960s, but have seen a revival since the 1990s. Modern finishing schools can be coeducational and focus on soft skills like professionalism, cross-cultural communication, and even dating and relationships.
While some modern men’s charm schools are problematic and expensive, I still think the idea of teaching social skills outside of traditional education has value. We discussed in a previous thread whether schools should teach corporate soft skills, and while I think corporations should handle that, there’s still a need for teaching soft skills that K-12 education doesn’t have time for. What do you think of the concept?
I think we should focus on teaching basic life skills in schools, but etiquette classes can easily create arbitrary standards that don’t add real value. That said, I do see a lot of adults who could benefit from learning basic polite behavior. Instead of separate schools, why not add life skills like paying bills, communicating needs, identifying red flags in relationships, and maintaining household appliances to the K-12 curriculum? These could be taught alongside math, science, and reading.
@Barbara
I like that idea. Maybe instead of traditional finishing schools, we could have programs focused on preparing people for private life. These schools could teach parenting, being a good partner, or having successful relationships based on the best research. That could help break cycles of generational trauma and improve family dynamics.
@NomadNerd
Many schools are already incorporating SEL (social-emotional learning) into their curricula, which helps students develop social skills for personal and professional life. It might be better to integrate these lessons into K-12 education instead of creating separate programs.
@MABLE
Teaching parenting skills, for example, requires a lot of education that can’t easily be squeezed into K-12. I’m a Human Development major, and the content we cover is too complex for younger students and too extensive for a single elective. The same goes for intimate relationships—SEL can help, but a separate school focusing on this would provide more depth and maturity in the lessons.
I attended a short finishing school program in the late 80s. It was only about 8 classes, but I still remember a lot of what I was taught. Learning proper etiquette has been useful in my life. I learned how to give a good handshake, set a table, and handle social situations with grace. It’s definitely a different time now, but those lessons have stuck with me.
I’d rather see kids learn practical skills like changing a tire or doing their taxes. Manners are subjective and depend on the culture, but practical life skills are universally useful.
In Ohio, we’ve added social-emotional learning standards to each grade level, which are meant to teach these skills in everyday instruction. Unfortunately, high-poverty schools already have a lot to cover, so students who need this the most often don’t get it. But extracurricular programs that focus on soft skills, like interview prep and code-switching, have been highly effective for at-risk students.
MiaAbigail said:
Why can’t we just teach these skills in a ‘business skills’ course in college?
We don’t need more gen ed classes in college, and corporations shouldn’t expect universities to teach specific skills for their workforce. University is about broad education and personal growth. If a company needs employees to learn specific skills, they should create their own training programs.
Also, not everyone will go into the corporate world, so teaching ‘business skills’ as a gen ed requirement wouldn’t be relevant for everyone.
@NomadNerd
So, should companies teach these skills instead of finishing schools? Also, there are some skills, like writing professional emails or knowing how to network, that apply across industries. Wouldn’t those be useful for everyone?
@MiaAbigail
I think corporations should teach their own specific skills, while finishing schools could focus on general soft skills, cross-cultural communication, or even personal growth. These programs would help people learn how to communicate better, be good partners or parents, or develop important life skills that aren’t tied to a job. Some of these skills could be taught in school, but more complex and mature topics might be better suited for a dedicated finishing school.
As for general skills like email etiquette and networking, those can be taught in high school or early college, and I remember learning them in a computer class back in middle school. Universities could also cover this in intro courses if needed.
MABLE said: @NomadNerd
When would people have time to attend these finishing schools, especially if they’re already busy with work and other responsibilities?
Finishing schools could range from a few days to a few years, depending on the program. Many already exist today for diplomats, parents, and professionals. What I’m proposing is expanding access by making these programs more well-known, affordable, and available online.
We could fund these schools with state support, and even offer paid programs for adult learners. Some states, like Texas and Oregon, have wealth funds for education that could help cover costs. The programs would be designed to be flexible and accessible for everyone, including those with busy schedules.
@NomadNerd
This might work in areas with well-funded schools, but in many parts of the U.S., funding for education is a big issue. How would you propose paying for these programs on a larger scale? Also, many people working multiple jobs don’t have the time for extra schooling.
@MABLE
A finishing school program can be as short as a few weeks, like most contemporary programs today. It could be offered in the summer or even as an online course, making it more accessible for people with tight schedules. Plus, some states have the funding to make this possible through grants or wealth funds. We could focus on starting these programs in wealthier, more progressive states and use them as a model for others.
Also, most Americans support new social programs. Over 70% want Medicare for All, and many support free college. The idea that Americans are opposed to social programs isn’t as strong as it used to be. With proper funding and public interest, finishing schools could be a viable option for many people.
Finishing schools, sometimes called sanatoriums, were designed to teach young women how to be the perfect host or wife to powerful men. They gave these women the skills to support their husbands and handle social situations with grace. Even today, these skills are still taught in certain elite circles, especially among the wealthy and politically connected. The same social dynamics still exist, though the path to prestige has shifted to elite schools and family connections.