I hear a lot that schools, from pre-k to high school, are supposed to teach kids social skills.
As someone who was bullied relentlessly, I’m curious about how social skills are actually learned. If those bullies acted like that at work, they’d definitely face consequences for harassment.
Many everyday behaviors expected in society are first learned in school. Things like standing in line, waiting your turn, raising your hand to speak, dividing up group work, and self-regulating emotions. Also, being around different people with various backgrounds helps kids learn how to understand and work with others. Conflict resolution, not fighting, is crucial too. While bullying shouldn’t be tolerated, many kids learn empathy and social skills that help them fit into society.
@SarahBrown
Most formerly homeschooled kids I work with struggle to handle stress and often shut down at the slightest issue. They tend to find it hard to make and keep friends. At home, they might avoid uncomfortable feelings, which can lead to problems.
@Mike
I was homeschooled, and the thought of going to college is terrifying. It’s so unfamiliar, and I ended up with severe social anxiety. I also focused on subjects I liked, missing out on a complete education.
@Mike
I did public online school and still struggle with many social skills as a college student. I wish my parents had been more involved to help prevent these issues.
Jane said: @Mike
I did public online school and still struggle with many social skills as a college student. I wish my parents had been more involved to help prevent these issues.
It’s similar for many kids. When you’re at home, you lack a teacher enforcing social norms, leading to less socialization. It’s not ideal.
@Mike
In my case, activities outside school, like dance or group lessons, would have helped a lot, but my parents couldn’t afford it. I mostly socialized through gaming, which was better than nothing.
We shouldn’t have to teach this, but parents need to step up. Roleplaying, conversation practice, and basic conflict resolution are essential skills, and we need to focus on these more.
Arnold1 said:
We shouldn’t have to teach this, but parents need to step up. Roleplaying, conversation practice, and basic conflict resolution are essential skills, and we need to focus on these more.
But why shouldn’t we have to? Kids come to school with different experiences, and we help them learn what they need.
Soft skills are important. Dealing with difficult customers is like handling bullies. Schools teach these skills through experience and observation, even if bullying happens.
We use modeling and SEL programs in schools. While we shouldn’t have to teach these skills, many parents are not doing their part, leading us to fill that gap.
I’m sorry to hear about your bullying. As a former principal, I often found that bullies came from homes where similar behaviors were present. Schools can’t easily change parental values.
Social Emotional Learning (SEL) is actively taught through counselors and group activities. The goal is to prevent students from needing Tier 2 and 3 interventions later on.
The skills taught can include listening during discussions, handling disagreements respectfully, and understanding the importance of showing up and staying engaged, which are essential for any job.
Amanda said:
The skills taught can include listening during discussions, handling disagreements respectfully, and understanding the importance of showing up and staying engaged, which are essential for any job.
I wanted to point out that bullies don’t just disappear after school. They often continue their behavior in the workplace.
Schools teach social skills by promoting collaboration, communication, and empathy through group activities and discussions, preparing students for real-life interactions.