I’d like to share an experience and get your thoughts, especially from those of you working in school administration.
Imagine this: A student with no history of disciplinary issues is consistently bullied—both verbally and physically. The student trusts the assistant principal to handle the situation. After over two years of dealing with bullying and placing faith in this administrator, the student is physically attacked one morning, pinned down by the bully. The assistant principal, despite seeing the student defenseless and not fighting back, decides to suspend both students for ‘fighting.’
The student is later denied the end-of-year trip to an amusement park, something that’s still talked about among classmates years later. When the student appeals to the assistant principal, explaining their history and lack of discipline issues, the assistant principal upholds the suspension without informing the student of the possibility to appeal to higher authorities in the school district.
As you’ve probably guessed, this isn’t just a scenario—it happened to me many years ago. My middle school was eventually put under state emergency status for widespread issues, including bullying. I recently appealed my suspension to the district, but due to poor record-keeping, I couldn’t review or challenge my disciplinary record.
The assistant principal had a habit of suspending students for minor incidents, even yelling at us during assemblies about what ‘rotten kids’ we were. He once suspended a classmate who accidentally elbowed me, despite both of us explaining it was an accident.
I’m wondering if this is common. Are there performance incentives for assistant principals based on suspensions? Or was this just a problem with my particular school?
Any insights would be appreciated. I personally think the administrator failed the students and the school district should have replaced him much earlier.
I think it’s time to move on. Obsessing over something that happened so long ago isn’t healthy, especially something like a middle school suspension. It’s probably not going to affect your life now.
Flippa said:
I think it’s time to move on. Obsessing over something that happened so long ago isn’t healthy, especially something like a middle school suspension. It’s probably not going to affect your life now.
I get that, but it feels like the right time to ask for a correction. The fact that they can’t be bothered to fix it is frustrating.
Flippa said:
I think it’s time to move on. Obsessing over something that happened so long ago isn’t healthy, especially something like a middle school suspension. It’s probably not going to affect your life now.
What if this administrator’s poor judgment led to even worse decisions in other areas? Shouldn’t there be accountability for everything they influenced, like recommendations or hiring decisions?
Flippa said:
I think it’s time to move on. Obsessing over something that happened so long ago isn’t healthy, especially something like a middle school suspension. It’s probably not going to affect your life now.
I regret bringing this up, but it feels like psychological trauma from bullying and being failed by the system gets dismissed as unimportant, just because it isn’t something as serious as abuse.
@Grayson
Equating your experience with childhood abuse is concerning. You should definitely seek therapy to help you process this because they aren’t the same thing.
Lynskey said: @Grayson
Equating your experience with childhood abuse is concerning. You should definitely seek therapy to help you process this because they aren’t the same thing.
I see that now and regret making the comparison. It’s not the same. I guess I just feel like my experience gets dismissed because it’s ‘just bullying.’ But it was about the assistant principal betraying my trust after I reached out for help.
marvinjohn said:
Why is altering your record so important now? Does anyone actually need to see your middle school record at this point?
It’s more about personal pride. I wasn’t fighting, and I spent years trusting the administration to help me. It feels wrong that their mistake still stands in my record, even if it doesn’t affect my life now. It’s a small thing in the grand scheme of things, but it means a lot to me.
You really need to seek therapy. Holding onto a middle school suspension from the '90s isn’t healthy, and no one here can really help since this happened so long ago.
Unfortunately, people in authority make mistakes. In schools, it’s often hard to prove who started a fight, and both students end up getting suspended to avoid accusations of bias. Administrators usually won’t go back and reverse those decisions, especially if no one escalated it at the time.
I’m sorry this has stuck with you for so long. Bad administrators can really make school life unbearable. You did have the option to take it higher, and the fact that they mishandled records could have been a serious issue. But at this point, it’s in the past, and there’s no easy way to change it now.
If this still bothers you, maybe consider becoming an educator yourself. You could make a difference and avoid repeating the mistakes that were made in your case.
rozaah said: @Unber
Wasn’t this in the hallway? Shouldn’t there have been cameras or something to prove what happened?
Even if there were cameras, they often don’t cover every spot, especially back then. Hallways and locker rooms are full of blind spots, and most schools don’t have full campus surveillance. Teachers aren’t always able to monitor these areas either. It’s a tough situation.
It sounds like a terrible environment to grow up in, and I’m sorry this affected you so deeply. But at this point, it’s not going to affect your life, so focusing on therapy might help you move on.